Brotherly Advice
by The Boomerang
Summary: Reno was a bit surprised when his little brother approached him and asked, quite politely, in fact, how to 'tell Roxas I want to bone him... nicely.' [AkuRoku Zemyx and others]
1. Reno's Advice

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang

**Disclaimer: **Does not want. Does not compute. -asplode.-

**Author's note: **I don't know.

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Axel hated fathers. They always fuckin' told you what to do and got pissed when you told them you were about as flaming as your own hair color and wanted to bone your best friend.

Not that Axel had any experience with telling his father that.

Just his brother.

Reno spat out his beer, coughing and punching himself in the chest as his little brother watched him possibly die from where he stood at the other end of the table. It wasn't the fact that Axel had finally told Reno about his sexuality, hell, Reno had been waiting for that one for three years.

It was more the fact that Axel had just asked him to "tell me how I tell Roxas I've wanted to do him for the past year and a half. Should I first tell him I'm gay and wear rainbow suspenders to his birthday party next week. Or should I wait till his party and get him drunk, bone him, then tell him in the morning that Namine's a hermaphrodite and raped him in the linen closet?"

Axel was a very.. blunt person. Unlike Reno, who, in his three years of being an adult, had found a bit more finesse in the getting laid criteria. Then again, Reno got laid every lunch break in President Shinra's office.. (we don't talk about that)

But still- this was a bit extreme. Reno coughed once more, sitting up in his chair and running a hand through his sexy mullet hair, ruffling it further and giving the author unclean thoughts.

"Axel- I think you need to think this through a little more, I-"

"Reno! I thought it through last night when I was changing my fuckin' bedsheets! Now help me here!" Reno placed his beer down on the table and stood, brushing himself off gently and walking over to his poor, misguided seventeen year old brother.

He placed both hands on Axel's shoulders, his eyes staring deeply into that of his brother's. The expression on the man's face was the epitome of serious, his jaw clenched and brows furrowed as he thought semi-deeply. (which was an accomplishment for him)

"Axel. Let's start with a confession, give him a kiss, and then walk away."

"But if I walk-"

"If you don't walk away, Axel, and you find out that he does not, in fact, prefer hotdogs over buns, then you will have lost both your manhood and pride in one swift kick."

Axel's eyes grew wide as realization dawned on him, complete with a rooster cawing in the background and the sounds of eight babies being born. "Ohhhhhh."

Reno smiled and patted his brother on the shoulder. "Now- go call him and ask if he wants to come over and play video games, hm?" He gave Axel a cheeky grin and a very not-that-subtle wink, and was pleased to note the barest of pink on his little brother's nose and cheeks. Aww, it was so cute to see that his little brother was all grown up.. at eleast- in the teenage hormone area.

Axel walked off to get the phone and Reno sat down at the table once more, lifting his beer and grabbing his magazine to continue his previous task of vegging on his day off.

-----

The following day, after school, Axel struck. He was fast, like lighting, like a thunderbolt, like Red XIII on crack, he was the AXENATOR.

What had really occured was something more along the lines of this:

Axel peeked from Roxas, back to the sidewaqlk, and then right back at Roxas. The blonde teen was babbling about some kind of new ice-cream and howit was corporate take over to try and lure innocent children away from the truly best flavor of ice-cream ever, which happened to be sea-salt. Axel began to have vivid fairy Roxas's dancing in fronto f him, sucking thickly on long, round popsicles and staring at Axel through half-lidded eyes.

Biting his tongue, Axel stopped abruptly, two feet away from the sidewalk that led up to his apartment. Roxas gave him an odd look, but the redhead ignored it, grabbing Roxas by the biceps and leaning forward, crashing their mouths together. There was a muffled squeak from the blonde, but Axel ignored it, nearly bending Roxas back with the pressure he applied.

The gay Roxas fairies in his head that were sucking on popsicles cheered.

Axel pulled away upon realizing that Reno had more likely meant a peck on the lips than a raping of Roxas's mouth. "Sorry." He murmured against Roxas's oh-so-delectably parted lips, their breaths intermingling before he jumped back and fled- running like a bowlegged chicken into his apartment complex and shutting the door soundly behind him.

He held his chest, heart beating wildly, as he slid down to the geround. There was a moment of silence, and then he let out the most gleeful shriek/squeal he could muster, grabbing his face and wiggling his head back and forth, kicking his legs up and down.

Reno walked by and dumped the rest of the beer from his can on Axel.

----

Shortest one-shot that God has gifted this earth with.

Maybe it will have more chapters... if you review...?


	2. Cloud's Advice

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang.

Disclaimer: Cracka plz.

Author's note: I'm going to hell for this.

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Roxas_ really_ liked Axel.

Don't get him wrong, he was about as virgin as they come. Hell, Roxas had only one experience with kissing someone (except for that time when Demyx got really drunk at Cloud's New Year's party. But we don't talk about that.) and that was with Riku, after the silver-haired teen had begged him. (something about it beign the closest he'd ever get to kissing the actual _thing_.)

So when Axel had grabbed his arm on their daily walk home from school and kissed the living daylights out of him, Roxas could have creamed his pants right then.

But Axel had split. As soon as he'd pulled back, he'd muttered an apology against Roxas's lips and left, slamming the door of his apartment complex behind him.

If Roxas had stayed just a few minutes longer, he'd have heard the gleeful and utterly gay squeal that erupted from the other side of the door.

He didn't though. In a furiously gleeful and confused shock, Roxas slowly walked home, which was actually a bar named **The Golden Chocobo**, which was two blocks down from Axel's apartment. He lived with his brothers Sora and Cloud, and Cloud's girlfiend, Tifa. (okay, so Roxas swears to God the only reason Cloud was with Tifa was so the brothers could get cheap housing. Even Roxas wasn't blind to his eldest brother's random broom closet romps with Tifa's bartender, Leon.)

Roxas decided that it was high time he asked Cloud for some good ol' brotherly advice.

Because if he asked Sora.. well.

Nobody asked Sora for advice on important matters.

It just wasn't done.

Roxas greeted Tifa, Leon and Yuffie upon his entry, and asked where his brother was.

"He's upstairs on break." Leon answered. Roxas thanked him and walked into the back where he could access the second level of the building, hopping two steps at a time. He opened Cloud's door and slipped in, greeting his brother quietly.

"Cloud. I need your help." As soon as Roxas uttered the word help, Cloud had perked up, hoping to be of use to his littlest brother for once. (Seeing as how his only use so far was turning the both of them utterly flaming gay.) Roxas fidgeted with his hands for a moment before he took a seat on Cloud's bed, which sat next to the desk. He thought for a moment, and then spoke.

"Axel kissed me today-"

"_I'll kill him_."

Well that was productive. **_Really._**

"No! Don't kill him Cloud! I like him." Roxas shot back, only slightly irritated that Cloud seemed to have a knack at shooting down chances for Roxas to get laid before they even happened. Cloud felt only a little embarassed about jumping to conclusions.

Just a little.

"Well... what do you need my help with?" Cloud asked, shuffling some papers on his desk and tapping them against the wooden surface to even them out. Another akward silence passed, broken by the sound of a baby crying downstairs, which, really, just made the lack of conversation even more uncomfortable than it had been before.

"When did you start fucking Leon and who made the first move?"

"..."

"..."

_Oh shit._

Roxas just killed his big brother.

"Cloud?" The man was frozen in shock, papers having slipped from his hands and fluttered to the ground. Roxas called out his name again, reaching an unsteady hand to stab his big brother in the shoulder with an index finger. Cloud suddenly snapped back into reality, picking up the papers stiffly.

"Watch your mouth, Roxas." He uttered, quite cooly, if he did say so himself, after having cleared his throat. Roxas grumbled, crossing his arms and staring out the window, which was't really doing much since the blinds were closed and the shade drawn.

This was going nowhere. (Roxas wasn't sure if it was the staring or the takling)

"He kissed you, right?" Cloud asked gently, turning in his swivvely chair to face Roxas. The blonde boy nodded. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"So why aren't you at his house dry humping on his couch or something?" Roxas was taken aback.

"Buh- I-...he- ..."

"..." Cloud gave him that look often given by black women, that could be rightfully dubbed as the _'Honey, I don't think so.' _Look.

Roxas hung his head in shame.

"Good question."

He left.

Cloud officially felt like he'd accomplished something in life.

--------------

Roxas rang the doorbell.

Once. Twice. Thrice... Fice.. ?

It opened to reveal a very flushed Axel, who then proceeded to cup his crotch, whilst shrieking. "Oh god, not the balls! I swear I won't do it again!"

Roxas stared.

Axel removed his hands from his nether regions just as Roxas grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged the redhead into a searing kiss.

--

I love reviews.

They make me smile.

_**(subliminal message)**_


	3. Seifer and Zell's Not So Helpful Advice

**Brotherly Love**

The Boomerang

**Disclaimer:** KINGDOM HEARTS. FILL ME WITH THE POWER OF DARKNESS!

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"Zell!" Demyx's ever-so-cheerful voice yelled for his brother as he entered the house. He kicked his shoes off by the front door and dropped his backpack on the ground, jumping the stairs two steps at a time. Today was the day he asked his brother for some much-needed advice.

"What is it?" A blonde head popped out of the second door down the hall, and Demyx was briefly reminded of a Chocobo's ass- but he didn't comment, knowing that many mullet comments would be spat back.

"I need your help." Demyx made his way down the hall, but upon hearing the word 'help' Zell's eyes had widened and he pulled his head back into his room, shutting the door and allowing the lock to click into place. Demyx pouted for a second, pondering if he really was the older one at this utter display of immaturity coming from his sibling.

He knocked on the door. "Come on Zell! I mean it this time!"

"You said that last time, too!"

"But how was I supposed to know that Seifer was gonna molest you!"

There was a thud as Zell's sneaker, most likely, hit the door. "He didn't molest me and that wasn't the point!"

Demyx huffed, crossing his arms. It wasn't his fault that Zell couldn't even swim properly- and how was he supposed to know that people sink when they're leg is caught in an anchor's chain?

And that whole Seifer giving his brother CPR thing was so not-his-fault.

Demyx just didn't want to kiss his own brother.

ew.

"But you guys got together anyway." Demyx muttered indignantly, kicking the door none-too-gently. There was another thump, this time of a body, and a shuffling of clothes before the lock un-clicked and Zell's suspicious sapphire eyes peered at him from the doorway.

"What do you want help with?" Zell asked the question with much caution- but Demyx just gave him a wide grin and pushed the door open, knocking Zell back into the room.

"I need you to give me advice on how to get Zexion to like me." Demyx clasped his hands together. eyes wide and hopeful.

Zell didn't mean to burst out laughing, he honestly didn't.

"Z-Zexion?" The older teen gasped out, clutching his aching sides. Demyx's bright face darkened into a scowl and he crossed his arms. It was true that Zexion generally didn't like anything but giving someone a good mind-fuck, but Demyx knew that deep down, Zexion was a kind and caring person.

"Yes, Zexion. Now are you gonna help me or not?"

Zell allowed himself a moment of recuperation from the laughing fit, wiping a tear out of his eye. "Yeah, kiddo- I'll help you. But you have to promise to stop spyin' on me and Seifer for Irvine, okay? I don't need you to start geting perverted habits like him." Zell motioned to his bed, where the two of them could sit.

Demyx obeyed, taking a seat closer to the television set while Zell sat next to him. "I'm not a kiddo-you're barely a year older than me." The blonde boy grumbled, only slightly put-out.

"So- have you tried telling Zexion you like him?" Zell began, filtering through his mind the many pre-dating conversations he'd held with Seifer.

"Yes."

"... okay. Uh, well what did he say?"

"He didn't say anything, he just kinda gave me a funny look and went back to reading his book." When Demyx finished, Zell realized that this may have been harder than he'd initally assumed.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

"Hang on, lemme call Seifer." Zell didn't let Demyx argue as he grabbed his cell-phone off of his night stand and dialed his boyfriend's number. After two rings, Seifer's voice greeted him.

"What's up, Chicken?" Zell rolled his eyes at the incessantly annoying nick-name.

He glanced at Demyx before speaking. "Seifer, Demyx and I need your advice, do you have enough time to listen or are you at work?" As he spoke, he could hear the background noises of the mall coming from Seifer's end of the line. Seifer laughed lightly.

"Actually I'm on my break, so I have a good ten minutes or so, why? Do I have to break some faces in?"

"No, nothing like that... er.. I'll give the phone to Demyx." Zell handed his cell over to his younger brother, who held the device to his ear and relayed the story to Seifer.

After Seifer finished laughing quite loudly into Demyx's ear, he offered his advice- which made Zell realize that maybe asking Seifer wasn't such a good idea.

"Follow him around and bug him until he talks to you, s'what I did with Zell."

God, Zell really hated Seifer right now, watching his little brother's face light up before thanking Seifer and Zell and dashing out of the room to make a trip to the library to harass Zexion before dinner.

Zell held the phone to his ear. "... you're going to hell for that."

Seifer laughed again.

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Yeah.. This one is less advice and more stalking tactics. I.. think this is stupid.

Once again- this story is something that I do in my free time for fun, and it is not beta'd or even looked over.

And if you complain about Seifer/Zell, you're going to hell. XD

And that rhymes, so it must be true.


	4. The Triplets

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang

**Disclaimer:** Ohhhhh, my Kingdom Hearts.

**Author's note**: Anyone else catch the fact that I'm a retard and titled the last chapter Brotherly Love instead of Brotherly Advice? It's okay if you wanna, you know, stab me in the eye or something.

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"Xigbar!" Zexion shrieked, attempting to catch the attention of the strongest person in the library. The P.E. teacher turned around and almost had to punch himself in the throat to contain the urge to burst out laughing.

Zexion's body was nearly engulfed in a hug by some big blonde kid who had a gleeful grin on his face. The boy was going on and on about tunnels of love and never letting the violet-haired boy out of his sight.

The utter despair and terror in Zexion's eyes was probably the most emotion Xigbar had witnessed coming from his student. He chuckled, giving Zexion a little wave and ducking behind a bookshelf.

"Please let me go." Zexion wheezed out, his voice muffled as a result from having his nose smashed into a broad chest. (the author notes here that if he were in Zexion's situation, the rating would have to be bumped up.)

The blonde teen begrudgingly released Zexion- unaware that Zexion had no intention of staying. Upon recieving his freedom, the smaller teen dived for his backpack, snatched up the book he'd checked out and split for the door, running as fast as his scrawny little nerdy ass could carry him.

Zexion ignored Demyx's pleas for the teen to wait. He ran all the way down the street until he ducked into a small cafe that hosted poetry readings- a place Zexion knew Demyx wouldn't dare step foot in. As cute as the kid was, he was a few watts short of a full light bulb.

Zexion let out a sigh, slumping down into a seat near a more secluded part of the dim cafe.

Demyx did not smell orgasmically good.

Zexion refused to say it.

He hated his nose.

"What's wrong?" Zexion's eyes drifed up to catch sight of his older brother. Yazoo pulled his hair back out of his face, tucking it behind his ears and pulling out the seat across from Zexion. His sleeves were rolled up from kitchen duty and Zexion had to wonder of Loz had decided to shirk his own cleaning, piling it on the middle triplet.

"That blonde kid." Zexion murmured quietly. Yazoo's wise eyes flashed in understanding and he nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. Zexion placed his library book down onto the table and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table.

"This kid. Scares the fuck out of me."

Yazoo nodded again, raising a hand to signal to Kadaj, who was standing at the register. The eldest triplet caught the sign and said something to the woman ordering a coffee before popping his head into the kitchen and then making his way over to his younger brothers.

Loz soon followed as another waiter took over Kadaj's position. The three brothers pulled up chairs to crowd around their youngest sibling.

"Something wrong, little brother?" Loz asked gently. Kadaj stared at his baby brother, taking in his disheveled appearance before speaking.

"You get fucked?"

"No." Zexion snapped back. Kadaj shrugged, his hair swaying gently with the movement.

"You look fucked."

"I did not get fucked, I am not fucked, but I will be fucked if you don't fucking help me."

"You wanna be fucked?"

"Kadaj." Yazoo reprimanded the eldest sibling softly, his brows furrowed. "Little brother needs our help with a situation. You must be patient."

Kadaj let out an aggravated sigh, blowing his hair out of his face, only to have it flop back into it's previous position.

Yazoo gave Zexion a look that urged him to explain.

"This kid. His name is Demyx. He talks to me. I don't talk to him... He comes up to me and tells me he likes me. But now he won't leave me alone- and he touches me a lot. I don't do hugs." The triplets listened to him explain the situation, each of them exchanging glances.

"Shall I play a game with him?" Loz asked first, hoping to start a bit of carnage in the name of his little brother. Zexion's head swayed left to right in a shake of disagreement. Loz stuck his bottom lip out.

"His smell?" Yazoo's gentle voice came next, knowing Zexion often judged a person by scent before personality. Zexion scowled, but did not answer. Yazoo held back the twitch of lips that begged to break into a smile.

"Fuck him. He wants to fuck you. God- you're 16. Go be the horny bastard that our father spawned us to be. You should try doing it in the library, you like the library, right? I bed fuckin' in the li-"

"Kadaj."

"Right."

Zexion ignored his oldest brother and turned to Yazoo. The middle child looked thoughtful before he spoke up.

"Follow your nose."

Zexion nodded.

"You gonna fuck him then?"

"Yes. Kadaj. I am going to fuck him. Would you perhaps like to watch?" Zexion snapped, his eyes narrowed as a migrane began.

"Really?"

"NO."

"Well Jeez, you don't have to be such a spoilsport."

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asurhgaiuhgakdfhgadiurgak

I LOVE KADAJ.

THIS CHAPTER SUCKED MORE THAN THE LAST ONE

THEY ARE GETTING LESS AND LESS FUNNY

I AM GETTING LESS AND LESS REVIEWS PER CHAPTER AS A RESULT.

-leaps off a cliff-

Un-beta'd and un looked over.


	5. Axel and Roxas's happyish ending

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang

Disclaimer: CHEESE.

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Reno had deduced that his advice to Axel had turned out for the better.

Why had he deduced this?

Axel was straddling Roxas and they were currently having a pretty fuckin' heated make-out session on the couch- and he stressed the heated part.

Reno slipped his car keys into his back pocket and walked past them and into the kitchen. "Hey dad." The young man said lightly to his father.

Cid peered up from his fetal position on the floor, rubbed a tissue across the underside of his nose, greeted his eldest son, and then returned to crying like a little girl.

Reno opened the fridge and pulled out a box of cookies.

Why the fuck were the cookies in the refrigerator?

He pulled out the milk, poured himself a glass, grabbed the package of cookies, and then wandered into the living room again to take a seat on the recliner and wait until Roxas or Axel noticed his presence.

It took a good few minutes before they did, and it was only because Reno had snorted into his milk and started couching after Roxas has gasped out the redhead's name when Axel's wandering hand had reached a higher point of the blonde's chest.

"Reno! What the fuck!" Axel fell off the couch in mid-shriek of anger. Reno coughed, rubbing his nose. (was that cookie coming out? fucking sick.) Roxas pulled his shirt back down and re-buttoned his pants, his face about as red as Axel's hair.

"Well. Dad's home. Did you tell him you digged the whole hotdog deal?" Judging by Axel's horrified expression, he hadn't. "Yeah- dad's crying in the kitchen next to the pantry. Ya might wanna go apologize for utterly destroying any chances he had at being a grandfather." Everyone knew Reno was gay- hell, even their emo cat knew the freak was the most colorful leprechaun under the rainbow.

Axel got up and left to console his father.

Roxas fidgeted.

Reno ate another cookie.

Life was good.

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_**rawrrrrrrrgahhhhurrghaaapenisfaaaaauuurkk.**_

This can be roughly translated as: I forgot what other pairings to use and so there will only be one more chapter unless people who want more review telling me the pairings that they want to read about. Each pairing has three chapters of it's own... yeah...

Short- simple. to the point. I want cookies now.

Un beta'd and un read over. nyah.


	6. Zexion's partially happy ending

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang

Disclaimer: You're a hooker! -sniff-

* * *

"Are they fucking?"

"Kadaj! Put the damn binoculars down and get out of that tree! Loz! Don't encourage him!" Yazoo shouted from the base of a very large oak tree. A very large oak tree located in Demyx's yard, not too far from his bedroom window, where he and Zexion resided.

Loz pouted, looking guiltly, and began to climb down. Kadaj grabbed the back of his shirt. "Don't listen to him, you oaf! I'm the oldest anyway- and I'll need protection if Zell and Seifer are home." He hissed. Loz looked up at Kadaj's demanding face, and then down to Yazoo's tired, exasperated one.

"Sorry brother, but brother said we should stop."

"Fine!" Kadaj chucked the binoculars at Loz, grinning in self-satisfaction when they cracked against the youngest triplet's forehead and send him thudding to the ground.

"Hey! Is someone out there!"

"Shit! It's Seifer! Run!" Kadaj shrieked, falling out of the tree in his own surprise and landing on top of Loz with an 'oomph.'

Yazoo looked from the front door, where Seifer stood, with Zell behind him, then up to Demyx's window, where Zexion was leaning out of and aiming a knife at Kadaj. Demyx's arms shot out and grabbed the other teen, pulling him back into the room. There were sounds of a struggle, which quickly died down and were replaced with the sounds of moaning and such.

A shirt went flying out the window, drifted to the ground, and then landed on Kadaj's head.

"You!" Seifer roared, having caught sight of Kadaj, who was notorious for molesting anything pretty and blonde. (Cloud, Zell, Demyx, Roxas, and so on. He even tried to harass Namine, until he realized that Namine was a girl, and then ran for the nearest gay bar)

Kadaj screamed like a girl and ran, after he tripped on Loz's body. Loz decided running sounded like a good idea and the triplets shot off of Demyx's lawn and to their motorcycles.

--

"Dem-ah- nn- but, my brothers- ahn." Zexion gasped out, squirming when Demyx ran his larger hands over the smaller teen's bare chest. Demyx placed a kiss to his collarbone, smiling against the pale flesh.

"They can watch some other time- I want you all to myself right now." Demyx reached a hand out and pulled down the blinds to his window as his lips closed over Zexion's.

* * *

Fawrharhar.

I got enough RikuSora harassments to make me cream my pants. Hurrr.

63 reviews. -faint-

So the next to pairings are Riku/Sora Leon/Cloud and possibly Marluxia/Saix or Saix/Xemnas... yeah...

I love Kadaj.


	7. Leon's Advice sort of

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang.

Disclaimer: Apple Core. Baltimore. Who's your friend? Me. -punches you in the face-

Author's note: I have no idea anymore. -cries like a little girl-

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Sora had known Riku for a total of seven years. That would mean that they met at the lovely age of eleven. Let us re-iterate. SEVEN YEARS. A normal teenage male starts mastrubating at the age of nine to twelve. If it begins later than that, then your son is probably a retard, or has no attraction towards any sex what-so-ever, or he's sterile.

After the first two, agonizing years of accepting his sexuality and then meeting Riku and being forced to embrace it, Sora felt like he could tolerate his ever-lasting crush on Riku, AKA Sex on Legs.Oh no- Poor little twelve year old Sora never expected this clash of adoration and teenage hormones to last for six years. No no indeed he did not. Riku was already almost two years older than himself, he was far cooler and more experienced than little old celibate Sora.

Heh. Celibate Sora.

EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD CELIBATE SORA.

-cough-

Back to our story. Sora was currently being pinned to the bed by Sex on Legs, his hips trapped between sinfully strong thighs, and a set of pearly whites grinning into his own. "I win, Sora." Riku had declared only moments before the brunette had gone into 'mind-fucking Riku' land. (Which is meant, here, to ahve sex with him in his head)

Sora squirmed and an odd look flashed across the twenty-year old's face before Riku rolled off of Sora, chuckling to himself. "Jeez, Sora.You're almost ninetten and you still can't beat me in a wrestling match?" Sex on Legs stated with a tease in his voice, reaching out a hand to roughly ruffle Sora's hair. Riku glanced past the brunette and to the little clock sitting on the nightstand.

"I've got to get to work." He stated, pushing himself into a sitting position. Sora jutted his bottom lip out, but didn't speak, watching Riku straighten his hair and go about the room searching for his portfolio and briefcase. Riku worked as an intern in an extremely popular art industry. He was making his way to the top, Sora just knew it. Sora, himself, was still a college student, sharing an apartment with Riku while working to jobs to help pay the rent. Neither of them had much spare time, only during the night and early morning. Sora slid off the bed deciding that he needed to get dressed too.

Riku bid him goodby and left soon enough, and Sora found himself alone to his thoughts. He couldn't confront Cloud about this, because he'd never felt that same connection that Roxas had, even after Sora had moved out not too long ago. (Only a month after Roxas had gotten together with Axel, to be exact) He needed advice from someone who was smart, logical, had emotion.

--

"Leon...can you give me some advice?" Sora sat upon the counter of Tifa's bar, watching the man rub tables down with a wet washcloth, his legs kicking back and forth in the air.

"..."

"Aww, come on Leon. It's really important."

"..."

"I'll pay for a hotel room for you and Cloud for an entire night."

"... What's wrong?" Leon put down the washrag with a sigh, turning to look at the younger brunette expectantly. Sora beamed, hopping down off of the counter and approaching Leon.

"I've liked Riku for like, ever, right? Right." Leon stared blankly at Sora, but the teen disregarded that fact, instead, continuing on with his ramblings. "Okay, so I've liked him for thiiis long, and I want to tell him."

Leon tapped his foot impatiently.

"But I don't know how to do it without getting kicked out."

"Riku's gay, what's the problem? Just light a few candles, chain yourself to his bed, I hear he likes kink, and then make a few sounds and you're good." Leon turned away from Sora as he spoke, opting on washing down the tables a second time for good luck. Sora breathed out a frustrated sigh, his hands on his hips. "Leon, it's not that easy!"

"Sure it is. Any man with a libido as big as yours, and I'm pretty sure Riku has one, wouldn't think twice about screwing you senseless. I'm saying this because Cloud is your brother, and you have similarities in you, it's fate."

Sora grinned. "This could go wrong so many ways, you know." Leon gave Sora a shrug, flipping the rag over his shoulder and wiping his hands on the hip apron tied about his waist.

:"It could, but the worst that could happen is that you stop talking to each other and you come back here for a few months until Riku realizes that he needs your help in paying the rent."

True- true. Riku would do anything not to be forced to go live with his brother again. It was almost a win-win situation for him...

Sora smiled brightly. "Thanks Leon!" And bounded out of the bar, making his way to the nearest Erotica Toy Store to engage in his evil plotting.

----

I think my mind just died.

We've been tight with money as of late, actually.. Riku's and Sora's situation is kinda like me and my boyfriend's... only he doesn't work as an intern. asgagaerg And I'm a little gay boy short and stout, here is my handle heere is my spou- oh wow. I just realized how raunchy that can sound.

Reviews are an aphrodisiac.

Un Beta'd. Un looked over.


	8. Sephiroth's input

**Brotherly Advice**

The Boomerang.

----

Riku came home to no lights, scented candles, and Sora tied to his bed. He stared and the boy shifted awkwardly, looking up at Riku with a flushed face. Riku swallowed thickly and dropped his briefcase.

Sora hurriedly attempted to untie the silk fabric that had him restrained. "Sorry if this freaks you tout... I was talking to Leon and he said that you were-ah! hey! hey! calm down, Riku!" Within the span of time it took for Sora to talk, Riku had kicked off his shoes, crossed the room, lifted Sora from where he was standing on the side of the bed in attempted escape, and thrown the boy back onto the mattress.

Sora released a shriek that was muffled by Riku's mouth pressing hotly over his own as hands wandered up his sides and a strong set of hips pressed against his scantily clad ones, rubbing friction against the right spots and sending sparks of pleasure darting through Sora's groin and all the way to his fingertips.

Sora had to remember to buy Leon and Cloud a very NICE hotel room when he had the chance.

-

Riku awoke the next morning with Sora cuddled happily against his chest, one arm drawn over the older man's stomach and a leg draped along Riku's thighs.

Riku rolled onto his side and tugged Sora into his chest, burying his face into chestnut hair. He'd have to call his brother soon to ask him for some... advice. Considering his brother was a crazed sex addict and all, it wouldn't be too hard to recieve.

Around an hour passed before Sora extricated himself from Riku to start getting ready for work, and Riku begrudgingly did the same. Once at work, Riku discreetly dialed his brother's number while inside his cubicle, waiting for the older sibling to answer the phone.

"Yes?"

"Hey Seph, its Riku."

A chuckle, "Little brother? What a pleasant surprise."

"Yeah yeah, I miss you too. I need some help." Riku peeked outside the cubicle before ducking in again. Sephiroth made a noise of inquiry and Riku hurriedly explained his situation to the man.

"So, then you'dl ike to know a few new way sto pleasure your boy?" Riku flushed and grumbled under his breath for Sephiroth to get on with it. The man laughed softly.

"Get a piece of paper and a pen. There's quite a bit you need to learn."

Two hours and sixteen sheets of paper later, Riku got off the phone with his brother and nursed his cramping hand.

Six hours later, when Riku came home with a large bag of assorted items, Sora realized he was one very. Very lucky uke.

Ten minutes later, the neighbors realized that sleeping pills and headphones were God's gift to the world.

-------------------------

END. SERIES.

LOL.

DX


End file.
